COUNTESS MARIE DE TILLIE'S 17 RULES OF ELEGANCE

The descendant of diplomats and aristocrats shares her postulates:

1. First of all, elegance is hygiene. Your aroma and appearance affect the attitude of others. The ability to walk properly and keep your back straight embellishes every person, especially ladies. Many are convinced that branded clothes are a sign of elegance, but this is not the case. The important thing is to take care of your appearance and look neat.

2. Vocabulary, conversation skills show that you read a lot and have diverse interests. Improper accents, inability to use terms in place, jargon and slang do not make a person beautiful. Be careful about the pitch of your voice. It is a mistake I it is too quiet or too high. Don't show your negative emotions through intonation. There must be measure in everything.

3. Elegance - this is the care for one’s appearance. We live in an audio-visual world where when people meet, they judge the others by their clothes. But that doesn't mean obsessing over your wardrobe. Adapt the look to your work.

Do not wear high heels, bright lipstick and massive jewelry. They are suitable for an evening outfit. My advice to men is not to wear a short sleeve shirt to work. A gentleman should pay attention to the condition of his shoes and clean them if necessary.

4. Expand your horizons. Louis XIV was inquisitive, fond of painting and gardening. In our time, it is necessary to have a lively mind. Your life will become much more interesting and you will always be able to hold a conversation if you are inquisitive. Get outside of your own little world and listen to others. Not everyone has the ability to listen. Showing interest in your interlocutor is always a sign of good manners. Be genuinely interested in and discuss topics on which you have common ground. Be moderate and modest. Don't try to attract attention and be the star of the evening. Modesty in etiquette is not shyness, but restraint.

5. Maintain a balance in your behaviour. Learn to present yourself beautifully. Respect others. Everyone has the right to be different. You may not share his ideas, but give him freedom to profess them. Don't try to convince them. Know how to give way.

6. We all get into conflict situations. Keep your distance from people who are against you. Remove yourself from the conflict. Accept things as they are. Control your raging emotions.

7. Don't see yourself always as a star around which the world revolves. Don't take yourself too seriously. You can't always be right about everything.

8. The rules of etiquette include knowing how to present yourself in the best possible light. Your handshake should be neither limp nor too strong. When visiting other people’s homes, behave modestly and politely. The skill of conducting a conversation is practiced. Your gaze should not be wandering. Be open, but don't talk about yourself.

9. The skill of introducing one person to another is also studied. How your meeting goes depends on how you greet people.

10. Give thanks and humbly accept compliments. Be polite and kind when they say nice things to you. You don't need to show the bright emotions that fill you when you are being complimented.  Develop your self-confidence and smile. No need to beat yourself up.

11. A person who cannot handle things, cannot be elegant. He/she is filled with negative emotions, always gloomy. Smile and work on yourself. Elegance is a driving force whose motor is positivism.

12. A sense of humour is also necessary. It always disarms the aggressive person. But don't overdo the good tone. Diffuse tension, relax your interlocutors with the help of a humorous incident told. Humour brings people closer.

13. Appreciate simple things. People often overlook details, such as the beautiful plates on which their meals are served. We are too selfish and introspective, and this prevents us from appreciating the present moment.

14. The ability to give pleasure to others enriches both you and others with positive emotions. Learn to be generous and sincere. But generosity must come from your heart.

15. Be a bit of a rebel. You don't need to be perfect. If you disagree with an opinion or situation, don't accept it. Once you have a point of view, learn to defend it delicately.

16. Keep your personality and don't try to be someone else. There is no need to embellish your personal history to fit the environment. You don't always have to say "Yes." Many have a hard time saying "No" if something bothers them.

17. Know your strengths and weaknesses, accept yourself completely and treat yourself harmoniously. I like unconventional people because they are not afraid to express their personality.